1. |
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So, here we meet
Somewhere in-between bad ideas and domestic dreams
What did we do when we acted so stupidly
Fumbling for blame
Wondering how making repeated mistakes always makes us feel the same
You'd think that we'd learn
We'd think it too
(If we weren't so set on having the least to prove)
Lights out
Show's over
Let's go home
We speak in footnotes that bend from intention to meaning to careening to an end
Never reaching the sense that we intend
Nor the well wishes we meant to share when we left
Lights out
Show's over
Let's go home
On the corner of Shoreham and Matilda
We fester like the smell of blood after it's been cleaned up
Did I make it seem easy as if to talk wouldn't please me
There's a new feeling to me calling you to be better for somebody else
Our heads stacked, we double-back
Abusing our weak spots and the courage we lack
A new year, new harms
Revelling in matching scars and junk hearts
On the corner of Shoreham and Matilda
We fester like the smell of blood after it's been cleaned up
Did I make it seem easy as if to talk wouldn't please me
There's a new feeling to me calling you to be better for somebody else
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2. |
Fremdscham
02:25
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Are these the days that we spoke of
The ones that would "never come"
When thoughts of future lovers were almost funny to one another, and impossible
The promise of a new mother remains undone
We took our time tired, wired in the Summer sun while you recovered
Before goodbyes that would set the scene for the rest of our lives
Every unsaid thing that we couldn't even shout
Everything ends in a German word that I can't quite pronounce
I don't know about you but I woke up down
Take the things that made me remember you best
Get your clothes, leave the records, take the rest
We trusted each other not to moonlight flit
Our world was small but I was happy in it
Every unsaid thing that we couldn't even shout
Everything ends in a German word that I can't quite pronounce
I don't know about you but I woke up down
-Were you ready for this
-Were you ready for anything
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3. |
Funeral Plan 2021
03:53
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Notes take hold in a folded screen
Somewhere semi-secret and signed "with love, Liam"
Knowing full well that it's just another way to make you think of me
Ten titles in drastic sound takes me crosstown
Hood up and my head down
Partner to father in all of those miles
Separating your libido from the best of my time
What you call "everything in-between"
I called everything that ever meant a thing to me
I took the life that I wanted with you
And I had it with someone new
Hell to hellbound in a casket
Is this too much that I'm asking
ETERNAL LIFE
What would you have said to this
A promise is a promise
What you call "everything in-between"
I called everything that ever meant a thing to me
I took the life that I wanted with you
And I had it with someone new
The sign signalled all we need to know
"SMOKE AND WATER DAMAGED - EVERYTHING MUST GO"
What you call "everything in-between"
I called everything that ever meant a thing to me
I took the life that I wanted with you
And I had it with someone new
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4. |
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There's a trail of shoes across the hallway leading to my bed
A cup and five letters left, one read: "A rose and frend gliter"
Man, I missed her
Three rooms away felt like a world apart
You're better to me than I am to anyone else
Can't you see that I still hate myself
I'd never felt this alive and half-dead on the inside
Eyes barely open and tired
We're putting bad habits to rest
Correct our posture
Replace the things we lost
You used to be knee high
Now your arms can link around me
I lost years to this
I don't want to let it in again
You're better to me than I am to anyone else
Can't you see that I still hate myself
I'd never felt this alive and half-dead on the inside
Eyes barely open and tired
I do love you
I hate myself
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5. |
In Pursuit Of The Cedars
02:39
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If you can hear me then give me a sign
A touch to the shoulder
A shiver up my spine
Offer a hand so that I know I'm still breathing
Stop me from leaving
Make me feel like I'm good enough
"GOD IS GREAT"
And at his great gates lays a dead deer in the garden
Tyre marks and a quickly-left-the-scene
Is that how you've been
Abandoned in the dirt
In pursuit of the cedars
The colours are clearer
Help me clear my name
Abate the way we feel today
In pursuit of the cedars
I think we're getting nearer
When you get there what will you say
And will you stumble, will you waste your words
Or will you finally feel heard expressing your doubts
Sometimes we wish for things that we have to live without
Like the night a friend of mine's brother died
I called one of mine just to know that he was alright
I convinced myself that I'd done my best
As if nobody had ever left
In pursuit of the cedars
Where the colours are clearer
Help me clear my name
Abate the way we feel today
In pursuit of the cedars
I think we're getting nearer
When you get there will you say that you were proud of how you'd spent your days
Because I'd love to say the same
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6. |
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I heard about letting past loves be
I heard elsewhere about chasing the muse
So, regrettably, here I am with another song for you
Not that you had a choice
I've got time and a...
"A constant pain in your lower back
Your hairline recedes and your lips are cracked
I'm ageing well while you're ageing bad[ly]
But here I am in my emptiness"
With nothing to gain
And everything to lose
I look just alive enough to not pass for the dead
My jawline left me but my colour's returning
My head is good
I'm getting up, out, and I'm moving on
You should too
"A constant pain in your lower back
Your hairline recedes and your lips are cracked
I'm ageing well while you're ageing bad[ly]
But here I am in my emptiness
A constant pain in your lower back
Our friendship recedes as my presence lacks
I'm ageing well while you're ageing bad[ly]
But here I am in my emptiness"
With nothing to gain
And everything to lose
"My head like a faraday cage
Ain't nothing getting in or out these days"
-Is that your best excuse
-I've heard it all before
-Because you say it all the time
-That it's "how you like it" but be honest...
"But it's how I like it, to be honest"
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7. |
Smile / Guillotine
01:55
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I find myself alone and I see that's still not the best place to be
I think of my past and the people I've been forgotten by, or unforgiven
She'll stumble in tripping over herself and waking me up but I'll be happy
Whereas you came home at 3:30 smelling of alcohol and secrecy
It's not what I want
It's not what I need
But something keeps bringing me back here
Now lift your head high and smile
For the guillotine
In my best strangled voice I'll formulate a reply
Song to song
City to city
Heart to heart
Eye to eye
My truth, your lie
It's your word against mine
I'm biting my nails
I'm steady on the incline
I wanted a quiet life
I guess I’ve got it alright
This is what I want
This is what I need
But something keeps bringing you back here
Just lift your head high and smile
For the guillotine
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8. |
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I think I bled it dry
After all it was a pretty short time in my life
And over-romanticised
You could never be that good
Lay it all out in one ear
I swear it's going in
I'll lead the words one by one out the back door
Make sure that I forget again
The evenings - that never end
The reasons - that I could never comprehend
The questions - separating stances
Because the meaning I still don't understand
The morning - I never thought would come
The seasons - I can recall every one
The endings - I've had enough time
The memories - it feels like another life of mine
My friend 'til the end forever
Or at least for a short while
If I could say one last thing then I wouldn't waste my time...
To hell, let's waste my time
The evenings - that never end
The reasons - that I could never comprehend
The questions - separating stances
Because the meaning I still don't understand
The morning - I never thought would come
The seasons - I can recall every one
The endings - I've had enough time
The memories - it feels like another life of mine
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9. |
I'm Only Here To Leave
02:15
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I've written it down enough times
I'll torture myself again
If it's not clear, I'm not here to make friends
I'm only here to leave again
Don't just make the same noise
Spell it out with words
I wonder what would be the best way to make this worse
You painted me in youth
Watching my skin peel in the afternoon
New paint over blue rooms
I've thought it out enough times
I'll torture myself again
And think about how we're further now than we were ever near
You painted me in youth
Watching my skin peel in the afternoon
New blisters over old wounds
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10. |
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The capital forgot about us
At least something could
There's a covenant to speak our truths and then divide
The revenant of love denied
Lost to time
Is this an end to consequence
We're tied up in the vines
There's an irreverence we held for adult life
A sentiment bound by every honest lie
We're calling this an end to consequence
We're tied up in the vines
Is this loneliness
This is loneliness no more
I thought it was everything
But now it's the sound of the rainfall before the deluge of regrets that came my way
It's the first reminder of a thousand cold calls
And taking the long way home
It's the antidepressant
The great suppressor
Let's bury it deeper than we could ever have meant to
So that we'll never remember this
This is the end of consequence
We're tied up in the vines
Can you hear it
Are you listening
It's everything
And nothing all at once
Are you hoping for more
I hoped for years
I really thought it would come
But nothing ever came
Do you feel what I feel
Was your time the same
Do you carry an emptiness for all that was never meant
How many miles did it take
Or was it all in the time
Because it sure took me a while
I tried to find the words
I tried to hold them in
I thought it best to keep them
And not to push my nerve
It took some years of thinking
That I'd set aside to learn
I made up the answers
To questions you'd never heard
Will the guilt in me hold up
In the cities lost to time
Do you think you did your best then
Because I didn't do mine
I can only be more honest
When the prose simply simplify
I've everything to hide from
But nothing to hide behind
I think the sinking feeling's leaving
A hole's being filled in
It's getting hard to remember
Everywhere we'd been
Nowadays I think just maybe
Through the cover of a half-truth
That these words could well be
The last I write of you
So, here's to hoping to
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Kid Chameleon Sheffield, UK
Others projects past and present:
bedboundbysummer.bandcamp.com
fineokayfine.bandcamp.com
porcelainband.bandcamp.com
thetiredeyes.bandcamp.com
shortstorypicturebook.bandcamp.com
lighthauser.bandcamp.com
skinnydolphins.bandcamp.com
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