I watched a migration northeastbound I split from good sense and found myself too far south I walked the Alameda at 7am I thought of Louisiana, hoped the river banks would break Who could have predicted this In all fairness, anyone could I smiled politely and put my back down Walked new streets and found not much sense in where we are now, we're better off in the ground There's no comfort in where there could've been welcoming arms and a sense of being I can't give much more than this From a mattress on the floor the sunlight streamed in It could've almost felt like 2017 again Let's reduce this to a rumour, a great untruth One last look at me One last look through you Who could have expected this In all fairness, anyone would I smiled politely and put my back down Walked new streets and found not much sense in where we are now We're better off in the ground There's no comfort in where there could've been welcoming arms and a sense of being I can't give much more than this

You can play the saint You can swallow sorries You can paint me how you want Replace us with hate Retell your own stories And tell them how you want I've got this thing in me for you that's leaving An idea of who you used to be What, you think I wouldn't leave it if I could... I think of who I left at home that Autumn I lied through my teeth and paid for it I was projecting, I'm still a traitor I can't explain away my awful behaviour How could I have even been so thoughtless I lied through my teeth and paid for it With my complacency It's too easy to seem Much harder to be Time is a bind A fight between being alone and the loneliness Between everything taken and everything left I could do without all of this I've got this thing in me from you that's grieving An idea of who we used to be What, you think I wouldn't leave it if I could... I think of who I left at home that Autumn I lied through my teeth and paid for it I was projecting, I'm still a traitor I can't explain away my awful behaviour How could I have even been so thoughtless I lied through my teeth and paid for it With my complacency It's too easy to seem Much harder to be

I need you like the forest needs a fire I need to leave it for a minute until I miss it I need to know that I still know the line that separates what I'm missing from what I don't want What I need's a new state of mind -That pushes me aside That pushes you aside and out of my sight If it was easy then I guess we wouldn't be here With this common ghost that we both carry around I don't see you now Let's numb our senses to the sound Of doors closing behind us and stepping out into the rain As if four years weren't a waste I guess it's fair to say We could've never have expected better endings I need you like the morning needs the light Or at least I did We were staying up so as not to miss it We separate, we sit there, we're happy Now I think of what I'm missing This isn't what I want, nor what I needed How did we get here though I was a kid not long ago If it weren't so hard I wouldn't be here With this common ghost that we both carry around I don't need you now Let's numb our senses to the sound Of doors closing behind us and stepping out into the rain As if four years weren't a waste I guess it's fair to say We could've never have expected better endings 'How did we get here though' If truth be told it's whatever so I'll keep this brief Just close the door before you leave

You were never in a rush to rise The mornings were calm The mornings were long The cat pulled up the floorboards and scratched at the walls You suggest we take a drive We had a year there, in the middle, into it When were both enough You'd sing that song that had me splitting sides in the passenger seat on a drive never too long You're laughing too, singing and dancing at me Back when we cared Now I sleep alone in the middle of the bed that we shared What would you think about me now The new ends The lost love The loose threads The old friends You'd sing that song that had me splitting sides in the passenger seat on a drive never too long You're laughing too, singing and dancing at me Back when we cared Now I sleep alone in the middle of the bed that we shared Anything or nothing at all will do That's enough for me and you

I ready my decline Divide the pieces Yours and mine My life the trainwreck, The Grand Guignol Each daily affirmation just a moral I've sold I fall short and, after all, who'd have thought that I'd amount to anything more than a nomad, tearaway, hermit in my hole Incapable of taking on advice I've told Between my bad intentions and my poor design there's still a sense that everything'll be alright You put me on a bad track I'll never leave love again for youth You put me on a bad track I'll never leave love again for you Now I'll take my time Discard the remains Keep me tired I'm sleeping early because I'm done with days It's been a good while since I've felt this way I was ready to lay it all out on the line again for you I'm bored of these streets, these feelings, these evenings I loved two people Does that make me unlucky / lucky / idle / clueless / selfish / stupid / a piece of shit Because I'm sure feeling it No we resign ourselves again to separate homes I don't mind the space now I don't mind being alone But I've I've grown tired of the change and the moves I don't know who to blame nowadays Myself of you You put me on a bad track I'll never leave love again for youth You put me on a bad track I'll never leave love again for you

I'm unlearning my denial Searching for any trace or remains of common sense left in me Taking deep breaths, slowing paces Honestly, I'm trying to beat any sense of urgency out of me Count on fingers your declines The long night, the longer miles Regretting yourself to sleep Love comes and goes I gained myself a loose tooth You a tattoo, maybe two Take what you need from me and then leave So typical for me I'm erasing tooth-gapped smiles Matching scars, the choices harder The evidence plain to see Are you tired of lying to yourself The evidence for all to see Love comes and goes I gained myself a loose tooth You a tattoo, maybe two Take what you need from me and then leave So typical of you and me I know that you were scared of it But you could've dared to commit She takes the fall from bird to drake It's less meaningful that way

I know I'm not giving enough at home It's taking everything out of me I was willing to go along with it I'd sabotaged before I'd do it again I'd do it for a night, for forever For anything but friends I knew that I'd end up alone It was taking everything out of me I know I wasn't giving enough at home It was taking everything out of me I was unwilling to look ahead I'd felt it before I should've learned from then There's no 'for a night' There's no 'forever' There's no 'just friends' I saw on a wall out of town painted black 'How's this for heartbreak?' I thought, what I'd give to go back

In a perfect sense of spite I want to outlive everyone With tail in hand, homebound, and the ampersand that once sat between our names in vain now We understand new plans and the never-cans Now there's nothing in the way of you, and me, and the grave Looking at old photographs it's been a while since we've looked that way There's a struggle in convincing someone that you're a good idea I know that in time this feeling will leave but either way you'll be sick of the sight of me This is an ode to lasting love, and breaking up, and feeling fucked I know that in time these thoughts will leave but until then you'll be sick of the sight of me It's been raining on the inside ever since you left With water damage, waiting for the ground to set Everything here is just another form of temporary, and surviving, injury I've been talking about your death with an openness that makes people feel uncomfortable It's been a while since we've looked that way There's a struggle in convincing someone that you're a good idea I know that in time this feeling will leave but either way you'll be sick of the sight of me This is an ode to lasting love, and breaking up, and feeling fucked I know that in time these thoughts will leave but until then you'll be sick of the sight of me -Glass on the beach -Buried in your feet -Didn't even notice the bleeding -No sense, no feeling

So, this is it The burning of the hypocrite My burdens in the silhouette I'd been coasting It was easy living I was missing something I've long known we'd probably be better off alone The headache incurred The great cat fur purge Replacing possessions and the habits I'd learned This could be fun We could keep pretending -It's the ending of it all If you get the feeling of a love receding It's the ending of it all -Shake off our loss -Time was cruel to us -Trapped in permanence When the shadow of fairweather friends starts appearing It's the ending of it I loved you You loved you I'll do better for myself than this So, this is it I lie to myself Spill my own secrets in the bathroom mirror To the same old tired-out look but older I've still got a mind to roam Even alone Even and evening on the phone, phoning it in Pretending I'm going to be the one to want the best for me This could be fun We could keep pretending -It's the ending of it all If you get the feeling of a love receding It's the ending of it all -Shake off our loss -Time was cruel to us -Trapped in permanence When the shadow of fairweather friends starts appearing It's the ending of it I loved you You loved you I'll do better for myself

I told myself this time that I wouldn't bend my pride I'll never be the 9-5, TV in the the nighttime type I should feel sorry but I just feel bitter I tell you to be clear but it couldn't be clearer I was gearing up to cut ties You reached out crying Telling me your dog died The lights of our old house are out The longing's enhanced Love doesn't always give back There were bottles in the corner Cat fur in my clothes I didn't think I'd spend my last year here alone I was gearing up to cut ties You reached out crying Telling me your dog died The lights of our old house are out The longing's enhanced Love doesn't always give back